What is the fucking point
When ev’rything feels unfamiliar yet always the same
Endless roads, colourless and mundane
Slipping backwards into an illness of pure persistence
Colourless black and white existence.
I want to punch through walls and tear off my repulsive skin
When does happiness and life begin?
I just want to scream, please, I just need to shout
Please please let me escape, let me out.
I feel so trapped and so out of touch with those around me
So unhappy, lost, far from carefree
Can’t they see the darkening clouds? The rain about to pour?
We have to run, hide from the mind war.
Why do they want to be out there, it’s not pleasant or safe
People surround me, there is no space
I want to push them away, be left to fester and rot
Alone in my hidden quiet spot.
Anger is swirling, torrential rage that never erupts
A hurricane of thoughts go unstopped
I can notice laughter, kindness, little moments of joy
But not in myself.
I am rude, ugly, disrespectful, fat, selfish, unkind
I want people to move out my way
I do not want to be like this, I just want to be free.
Please tell me, what is the fucking point?
A poem by me.